Since we all live at the beach, and I can say I've lived on the beach 2 years now, I would just like to make a few notes on the do's and don'ts of going to the beach. It's not that I don't like the business all these tourists bring or the comfort some locals show quite clearly, I just believe that in a public place there should be some common courtesies in tact. If we were in a public pool, would you want the person next to you randomly, and secretly, urinating? I think not.
Urination
I think it's safe to say, there are people who pee in the ocean. I get it, it's a big salty ocean and all the other fish and mammals are doing it. So why not? I don't have a problem with the urination so much as how obvious and courteous people are when the do it. Is it necessary to swim out 100 yards while life guards are whistling and yelling just so you can have a safe distance, no. Is a nice 20-foot perimeter between you and other people possible, I think yes. Also, if you're going to take care of business while in the ocean with a bunch of friends, fair warning is not too much to ask for, whether it's a head's up or "fyi I just peed over there," your friends will appreciate knowing where to swim and where to avoid. Thanks.
Kids
This brings me to the next topic, not just children peeing in the water, but kids in general. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but I do have a few suggestions for certain parents. First of all, if you go to the beach with your children, you're responsible for them, so don't get mad at the life guard when they try to pull a fishhook out of a little boy's foot because he swam too close to some fishermen. While that's an extraordinary example, this also includes not getting wasted drunk while the kids play in the beach as well. Second, if kids are around, you have to be courteous. I don't care how many four letter words make up your vocabulary, a little restraint when you're right next to an impressionable 6-year-old is very much appreciated. And finally, parents, I'm not an expert so I can't place an exact cut-off age or height or weight. But, if your child looks more like a teenager than a baby, they're probably too big to be running around naked, no matter how hot it is.
Nudity
Now I realize that some beaches are topless, some are nude beaches, and we're all just trying to cool off and get a nice tan. However, being completely naked on Wrightsville Beach is not necessary (yes it's happened before). To that effect, underwear is not always sufficient, whether you're running and it's just too hot for actual clothes or you ran out of bakinis and think a bra and underwear will do. I know sometimes you think it LOOKS okay, but please do us all a favor and buy a $6 WalMart bathing suit that will actually cover you. Speedo's: sometimes funny, sometimes just cruel to the person who opened her eyes to a 200lb gorilla-man trying to look European. I get the cultural or confidence thing, but it's just a pet peeve I'd prefer not to see.
Smoking
As my last beach pet peeve, I'd like to bring up smoking. As a smoker (and a non-smoker during the months my quitting last me) I sympathize with the urge to smoke and have definitely smoked on the beach myself. The problem is when a child, family, or other people who don't smoke are sitting downwind from you (usually the wind comes from the ocean, so that would be behind you). I realize you may have found the perfect arrangement of sand for your body and don't want to move a muscle, but it's your habit and you should be the one to get up and walk a few feet.
Parking
I just have one thing to say about parking: please don't block the residents out. Lugging 3 beach chairs, an umbrella, boogieboards, surfboards, skimboards, coolers, towels, and the rest is indeed a great feat. There is, however, no reason to use that as an excuse to block someone's driveway when they may need to get to work or come home. Being close to the beach is great, which is why people live there. People who don't should find the public parking spots that were set out for them. Wrightsville Beach, especially around holidays, certainly could use some more parking spots, but that's just what it is and it shouldn't be too much to ask to respect other people's property.
These complaints may hold some people to too high of standards or they might be just ridiculous, but as a common beach-goer some things needed venting and hopefully some obnoxious people will see this and realize they're being rude or find some common sense.
I find your post so amusing. I agree with all of the above I just wish people would actually listening. But there is one thing I would add to my list if I was writing down my complaints. Because I'm not really a fan of children I would add parents, please put your children on a leash. I don't think it's too much to ask :). Or at least keep an eye on them as they run about the beach kicking sand in people's faces. Hope you had a good weekend, great post.
ReplyDeleteJenny, your post made me laugh. I am totally against tinkling in the water! Gross. I know people do it but maybe they should start putting up porta potties closer to the beach or something. I am in total agreement with you on the children issue. I hate going to the pool or beach to relax only to have some little kid crying non-stop. I think as a parent you should respect other adults around you and remove your children if they are acting out of control. I once was at the beach and this woman had her three children there. They were all under the age of ten and her oldest was using the most profound language I have ever heard a ten year old use! She kept threatening them by telling them if they didn't stop misbehaving, they would leave. After thirty minutes of her continuing to allow their foul mouths, I decided to move (even though I was there first!) As for the nudity, whether you're young, old, middle-aged...no one wants to see that in a public place (unless you're a perv!) There is a time and a place for nudity like in your shower or behind closed doors. I am a smoker so smoking doesn't bother me. The littering on the beach and at pools is what gets to me. I agree if you are smoking around non-smokers you should be courteous and walk a way before lighting up.
ReplyDeleteThis is great and hilarious! I'd have to agree with most of the things in your post. You should add the fact that people shouldn't throw their trash on the ground everywhere, especially bottles whether they're plastic or glass. About the parking, I wouldn't know about people parking in residents' driveways because I have never done that and don't live at the beach. Every time I go I always park before the bridge because it's free and not that far of a walk from beach, so I really don't see why people would end up parking in other people's driveways, even if they don't want to pay for parking. I would also have to agree with that Kelly commented: parent, keep your kids on a leash! Overall, the beach is a great PUBLIC place to go to, so we should all try our best to be respectful of other people that are around us.
ReplyDeleteThis is great! We all have these pet peeves when we go to the beach (especially now that I live in Wilmington) when the tourists do things that they would normally not do at home. I haven't seen any nude people (haha!) but I can only imagine what it looks like. What you should add to your list is when people pick their stuff up to leave, and without regard, shake their towels and sand flies all over: into people's mouths, eyes and other orifices that people do not want sand in. Is it really that hard to walk up to the top part of the beach and shake it off there?
ReplyDeleteVery funny post. Though I haven't seen to many drunk or naked people running around Wrightville Beach (thank God), I definetly agree with you about the kids thing. What really gets to me (and I generally like kids as well), is when parents let their children run rapid! I can't tell you how many times I've had sand kicked on me, while I'm laying down, from these kids running around like crazy. What's worse is the parents don't discipline them. I guess they think its okay..but its definetly not! But I digress. I say, if you (or your kids!) don't know how to act, then its best you stick to going to your communal pool.
ReplyDeleteThis is a funny post and it seems you know the beach pretty well. Luckily for you, and me I guess, I don't participate in any of those don'ts on the beach. I do like the courtesy guidelines and moving to smoke is a very nice gesture. I think people running around nude it their prerogative, as long as it is legal. We could use a bit of getting back to our nude roots in this culture. It's not to big of a deal, but I can see that on a public beach how concerned parents would be over their young children and naked adults intermingling socially. It's not the kids fault, but the bad apple freak adults who prey on youth. The beach is a very interesting social gathering and you seem to appreciate it the right way.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I just wanted to add one of my pet peeves... People in North Carolina seem to be really good about it, but when I go up to New Jersey for the summer CELL PHONES are totally different. People don't care if you're reading a novel, they will plop down right beside you with their huge beach umbrella and start yapping on their phone. I mean really? The whole beach doesn't not want to hear about how your doctor's appointment went. I only use my phone when I'm trying to find a friend, not have a two hour long conversation... and if something IS that important, then don't sit right beside a stranger!
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